13 December 2015

Quotes from Congress Chanakya (Rahul Gandhi)



Even a fish would not get into trouble if it had kept its' mouth shut. As Mark Twain  had said, “It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” 

 This is the largest collection of gems from the speeches of Pappu. I am sure you are gonna love it.

Source: Quora Posts.  


1. On the 26/11 Mumbai attacks:
 "We will stop 99 per cent of the attacks. But one per cent of attacks might get through and that is what I am saying." (100% of your attacks get through)

2. On the drug problem in Punjab:
"10 out of 7 youths in Punjab are hooked on to drugs." (Koi ratio proportion ka tuition do isko)

3. On India's youth advantage:
"India is the Saudi Arabia of 21st century." (Ha, aur tu tel nikal raha hai dimaag ka)

4. On the meaning of politics:
"Politics is in your shirt, in your pant." (And your brains are in your knees)

5. On being officially appointed as the party's No. 2:
“It (Congress) is a funny party. It is the largest political  organization in the world but perhaps does not have a single rule or  regulation. We create new rules every two minutes and then dump them.  Nobody knows the rules in the party” (No Comments)
And:
 "All the public systems - administration, justice, education and  political are designed to keep people with knowledge out. Such a system  promotes mediocrity."

6. In a Congress Workshop on Social Media:
 "If India is a computer, then Congress is its default program." (That's how computers crash)

7. In the CII Summit:
“People call us an elephant.. We are not an elephant.. we are a  beehive.. it’s funny but think about it. Which is more powerful? an  elephant or a beehive?” (while taking a dig at Narendra Modi and the  Gujarat Model of Development)

8. In an Ahmedabad Congress Meet:
"Gujarat is bigger than the United Kingdom." (Eureka)

9. In the same Ahmedabad Congress Meet:
"In fact, India is you know, bigger than Europe and the United States put together."  (Eureka II)

10. On being asked about providing e-literacy for poor children:
 "Can I ask you a counter question? How are you going to help them?" (providing free Chota Bheem DVD's)

11. On poverty:
 "Poverty is just a state of mind. It does not mean the scarcity of  food, money or material things. If one possesses self-confidence, then  one can overcome poverty." (And even become richer- possess National Herald)

12. About Gujarat children malnourishment:
"2 out of 1 child are malnourished in Gujarat... This is the Gujarat Model the BJP keeps talking about."

13. About Dalit upliftment:
“Dalit community needs the escape velocity of Jupiter to achieve success…” (

14. About Rani Laxmi Bai:
"Rani ki Jhansi. She is a hero." (Rani's Jhansi, she is a hero).

15. Rahul Gandhi's verbal goof-up at MP rally (Mixes up bhrashtachar with balatkar):
“What has the government done for the tribals here? Have they indulged in corruption (apke saath bhrashtachar kiya?)... Nahin balatkar kiya (Puri Zindagi Balatkar karenge...  congress ka naam roshan karenge!!!!)

16. About woman volanteers of INC:
"Agar aap yuva karyakarta se baat karen, agar aap mahila karyakarta se baat karen, pehli baar wo keh rhe hain ki bhai maza aaya, aur main ye jo maza hai hindustan k har vaikti ko dena chahta hun.." (If you talk with young volunteers, women volunteers, they all are saying that they enjoyed, for the first time they enjoyed.. and I want to extend this enjoyment to every person of India). 


17. And one More: 
“Hindustan Ek Soch hai. Hindustan Ek Jagah Hai…(fumbles) Magar  Hindustan Ek Soch Hai…”
18. And one  More:  
“There are people doing yoga in New York, dancing around; that’s the  power of India. You go to a nightclub somewhere in Spain and there’s  Amitabh Bachchan on the screen there, dancing around. That’s the power  of India. That’s the power of Indian people.”
19 And one More:  
“A rising tide doesn’t raise people who don’t have a boat. We have  to build the boat for them. We have to give them the basic  infrastructure to rise with the tide.”

20. BONUS Quotes: 
“If I am incompetent, I am useless, the people of India will see that.”


“There’s so much of unemployment in Gujarat. About 27,000 crore jobs  are lying vacant there” (And the fact is, population of India is 130  crore. How come 27k crore jobs are lying vacant over there?).

“Gujarat Ko Agar Kisine Khada Kiya Hai, Gujarat Ko Amul (the milk  brand) Kisne Diya Hai, Gujarat Ko Kisne Doodh Diya Hai? Toh Iss Tadaf  Dekhiye, In Mahilao Ne Diya Hai. Gujarat Ki Mahilao Ne Doodh Diya Hai  (who has given the milk brand Amul to Gujarat? Who has given milk to  Gujarat? 

"Dawaiyon K Daam Badha Diye Gaye Hain. Pehle 1,000 Mein Milti Thi. Ab  1 lakh Mein Milengi. Par Isse Ameer Logo Ko Nuksaan Nahi Hoga. Nuksaan  Gareeb Logo Ko Hoga. Gareeb Janta Maregi. Yahan Yeh Humari Behne Baithi  Hain, Inke Baccho Ko Cancer Hoga, Toh Inke Bacche Marenge "

"This morning I got up at night, 4 O’clock in the morning."

Sabke paas maa hoti haiMere paas bhi maa hai. Kisaan ki do maa hoti hai. Wo(modi) hamari maa hamse chheen ke dusron ko bech raha hai.